Today has its errors, like every other day

I wake up, I stir from my dreams, and the first thing I think is, I hope I am not alone.
I am not the player you might think I might be.
I just don't like sleeping alone.
But it still frightens me, ever since my childhood, sleeping alone, you can feel that cold whisper behind your neck, the cover can't get over you enough, the dreams you had you can't hold onto long enough, you are forced, you are merged into reality.
Love in the summer is a joke, this is for the people who want contractual relationships and I think that is so much bullshit.
I don't know how to access my feelings any more, I cannot work out how to work a relationship at all, all I have learnt up till here is that relationships is for the older generation as these young ones, these relationships we seem to fall into as youths seem to fall away from us quicker than our own sense of reality.
University, it simply deteriorates our sense of reality. But the problem is that, when we go 'home' to our home towns we are forced to become part of that society where in which, after university, all we do is try our best to detach ourselves from it. I miss it, so much, My home town, but I know that that life is over, that life for me is gone.