Stunned to silence.

When someone says something that makes you think over and over again in a way you don't like thinking.
It is far too overwhelming.

Starting to think like Samuel Beckett.
Starting to live like a character out of a Camus novel.
Starting to realise the submerging truths that were always there.
Starting to learn.

In another dimension, losing eye contact, feeling sadder and sadder about the way my life
is spiralling and I am not sure I can deal with the way my life is cut in half.
And the way I live in these two different worlds.
I'm not sure I can deal with me any more.
I am just not sure of anything.

Look away quick, someone is going to get hurt

Aren't we self destructive by nature?
You don't have to physically harm yourself to be suicidal, it's all these things we do because we are trying to defy death
Anyway. We are all dying, no matter how soon or long.
Face this truth and you will live like me, you will live like you will never see tomorrow
you will be in a copious amount of trouble, and you will have people that hate you
and you will never know what the next hour of your life will be like
But you can live on the clouds for so long before some life lesson crashes you down,
and when you are hurt, and when you are down you will feel the earth beneath you.
I am trying to defeat this philosophy, i am trying to become numb so none of you can hurt me ever
again.

Love the way you lie

Here is day, it has stole me from slumber.

The time is now, I won't wait any longer.

Thank you barriers of my heart, for saving me.

And fuck you, dreams of those who are chasing me.

We must write, for the sake of writing

We must leave the houses, of those who seem uninviting

Goodbye for now, I will think of you from time to time

But you never were and never will be mine

Truth is hitting hard, sober life is putting us in danger

Don't think anything when you see me with a stranger

Don't think of me when you are alone

Please delete my number off your phone

In hope, I will also pretend

That was a short play, and this is the end.

Light my cigarette, take me home.

This is a play.

Complete darkness.


The sound of a girl coughing in the night, you can hear deep breathing and then a chesty cough.
Rustling in a drawer, glugging of medicine and then silence

silence apart from a ticking.

Rattling of a empty inhaler. Coughing, deep breathing.

silence apart from a ticking.



She slips away into her dreams.

The end.

This play lasts 8 minutes,
There are no props, no stage settings and no actors. The sound is played through a P.A. system.

Come with me & see how I see

Each and every day I wake up and I know, that the dream I had will be gone, I know I won't
dream again until another length of hours, I know I'm racing the clock again.
I have no idea why I am who I am, but I know that I am what I am.

I don't like silence unless I am reading alone.
I don't like feeling uncertain
I don't like figuring something out and not confessing it
I don't like being told what to do.
I don't like feeling ashamed of myself
I don't like people who try to contain/control/correct me
I don't like the world.

I like the people I live with
I like realising the truth, and coming face to face with it
I like my friends
I like the fact I now decipher my friends rather than make friends with people I don't know and
don't care for
I like the fact I am honest with myself
I like the fact I make people laugh
I like my drive to work
I like the fact that family is whole again.

& I like this boy. I guess time is telling me that I will never know what could have been.
Fates a sad thing.

Wind me up, put me down, start me up and watch me go..

No time for the telephone,
no time for personal breakthroughs,
No time for anything really.
So, after all the work is done, and the rehearsals have put my body into a state of dizziness
I do feel weak about him.
I haven't got energy to be tough, I just have to be honest.

Drunken phone calls spit the truth,
you swill the words around in your mind,
the day after makes you feel hungover even when your sober.

Today has its errors, like every other day

I wake up, I stir from my dreams, and the first thing I think is, I hope I am not alone.
I am not the player you might think I might be.
I just don't like sleeping alone.
But it still frightens me, ever since my childhood, sleeping alone, you can feel that cold whisper behind your neck, the cover can't get over you enough, the dreams you had you can't hold onto long enough, you are forced, you are merged into reality.
Love in the summer is a joke, this is for the people who want contractual relationships and I think that is so much bullshit.
I don't know how to access my feelings any more, I cannot work out how to work a relationship at all, all I have learnt up till here is that relationships is for the older generation as these young ones, these relationships we seem to fall into as youths seem to fall away from us quicker than our own sense of reality.
University, it simply deteriorates our sense of reality. But the problem is that, when we go 'home' to our home towns we are forced to become part of that society where in which, after university, all we do is try our best to detach ourselves from it. I miss it, so much, My home town, but I know that that life is over, that life for me is gone.

Tomorrow always has deadlines

My fingertips are so cold because me and my sister Jasmin and my housemate Sale are burning logs out in the garden and listening to daft punk on high volume...drinking beer and forgetting our worries for as long as we possibly can.
One more time.
I think I need to stop getting involved with these guys who are so confused with themselves it is literally impossible for them to be straight with me. They only seem to set out to mess with girls' heads but I also think they are the people who will be partly responsible for when I do meet someone that I will love for the rest of my life.
Right now, I'm going to drink a budweiser and think about how I feel at peace with the world even for a moment, even for a night. Tomorrow always has deadlines.

Zara