I know you've been burned, but every fire is a lesson learned.

there is no escape except sleep lately,
even then sometimes i sit up and stare vacantly around me,
just remembering, or trying to provoke wishful dreams,
there are all these things that i need to do,
to keep up with the world,
sometimes i wish i could just travel with the road, or watch the moon in the dark
for hours,
time has begun to mean nothing,
because time escapes us all at some point or another,
its the only thing we are racing against at most points in our life

I had forgotten what life is for me here in my hometown,
sometimes i wish i had stayed.
But then my double life co exists in Leicester, in university
there are actions i have taken there which have outlined me as individual,
here i have blended into a group of hopefuls at a quiz machine in a bar,
I continue to dream for my future,
its the only motive i have to get up really,
being hurt and lost by a string of on and off relationships,
it doesn't matter though does it, because time also heals us,
it helps us to forget
it does not help us to forgive though.
wish it did..

There is someone i can't get out of my head,
he lives in my dreams
cliche. Hope he's okay, hope he comes back safe.
zara
xx

At my sis's new house.

End of year two at uni and my philosophizing is definitely becoming more sporadic.
As is my writing, this is because I have been far too busy living my life
to be writing about it. it is far too vain to sit down and write when you
have not stood up to live. I know someone who is going traveling in a couple
of weeks, and I am going to miss him. But I also think I need to get my head
out of the clouds and start grasping my own summer.
This is my first single summer, no attachments really. I am really confident that
I am going to spend the entirety of it with my family and friends so I'm all excited for that.
My sisters went to see Lady Gaga at Birmingham NC the other night and I am
practically green with envy, but at least they had a good time. I'm listening to her
pretty sweet Monster album now, looking around this officey room where my sisters boyfriend does his work. There is a small golden globe on the left of me and a few photos of my sister on the right. As for this computer..its a massive Mac Yak computer with everything included. This is her life and I'm pretty happy for her, but I can't help but think I don't want any of this stability sort of thing.
weird.
ciggie time