Impact of observation

We probably end up in dead end clubs and remember our dead end jobs

We probably wish we had listened and learned from the wisest

We probably talk too much and don't listen enough

We probably think the words we never dare to say

probably.

How would I know, I merely walk the earth along with all of you

Passing you on busy streets, remembering your face again tomorrow

Thinking about you, stranger

Yet I don't mean to silently judge

I feel a flicker of happiness to hope the best for you

I saw a boy who walked alone, hands in jeans, head down

He must watch the street move under him..and somehow feel my prescence

His inner beauty glows through his skin, his thick hair and his deep blue eyes

That I am lost in, In a glance...

Now I walk along with him on earth, both of us looking at the intertwining blues of the skies...

admiring, watching and following the worlds movement.

But if movement doesn't happen, I don't care, I see the world in him.

My learning Journal.

Is now the time to start learning the unapproachable subject; love?

Will you go out with me?

5 syllables. There will only ever be two true answers and it’s a risk. It's like asking someone to bungee jump with you, the jump might be the most exhilarating experience you ever have but what about the side effects? Of course the question is easy to answer though because we are all guilty of being so ignorant.

I grew up with 2 sisters and a brother. When my parents divorced in 1998 I got used to not having my mum around anymore, her presence was only in faded perfume and I felt as though a feminine part of me was taken away. All childhoods are difficult, the art of stabilisation is difficult to achieve even for the parents. Then when we started visiting my mother we got used to all of us sleeping in the same bed, I guess it was a comfort thing. I became so attached to sleeping next to people (obviously not guys, I was 9years old!)

When I grew up I realised that all of us had to face reality and independence. For me it is still not easy to achieve, as my nostalgia refuses to let me get over that phase of my life.

So, did my childhood leave me yearning for love and independence? Outside of class are we still desperate to learn?

Are we blind to what we should see, or is it part of our existence? As the world still continues with full ignorance.

Blindness isn’t sickness

When you have closed your eyes

The whole time

Open them and you will see

That we hold open arms back to you

If you let us

We could love you once more,

Fade ‘before’ from your mind

And only then

The sunshine could make you blind.

Is now the time to start learning the unapproachable subject; love?

Will you go out with me?
5 syllables. There will only ever be two true answers and it’s a risk. It's like asking someone to bungee jump with you, the jump might be the most exhilarating experience you ever have but what about the side effects? Of course the question is easy to answer though because we are all guilty of being so ignorant.

I grew up with 2 sisters and a brother. When my parents divorced in 1998 I got used to not having my mum around anymore, her presence was only in faded perfume and I felt as though a feminine part of me was taken away. All childhoods are difficult, the art of stabilisation is difficult to achieve even for the parents. Then when we started visiting my mother we got used to all of us sleeping in the same bed, I guess it was a comfort thing. I became so attached to sleeping next to people (obviously not guys, I was 9years old!)
When I grew up I realised that all of us had to face reality and independence. For me it is still not easy to achieve, as my nostalgia refuses to let me get over that phase of my life.
So, did my childhood leave me yearning for love and independence? Outside of class are we still desperate to learn?
Are we blind to what we should see, or is it part of our existence? As the world still continues with full इग्नोरांस

Blindness isn’t sickness
When you have closed your eyes
The whole time
Open them and you will see
That we hold open arms back to you
If you let us
We could love you once more,
Fade ‘before’ from your mind
And only then
The sunshine could make you blind.

In the moment

Sometimes we cannot bear the moment so much we want to escape it.

Maybe after all we'v learned about grasping the moment in its purity, we don't want to accept how the moment turns out to be.

Everything happening in front of us is the truth, uncrafted...should we just keep it in our memory or should we hope that it somehow falls into the 'blackout' part of our memory.

Watching people fall apart and fail is awful. Watching your sister do that is probably twice as worse.

Strength is definatley more than muscle; I learned that tonight.

Do Second Chances Exist?

I thought about it today, everyday we are searching for reasons for the unexplained.

Something small, something strange and something that simply added to a negative feeling happened to me today.

I woke up remembering everything I felt negative about...facing the niccotine craving, facing the choices to make about work that needs doing, facing the holes I'm digging myself into.

I went for a walk, I live among alot of countryside and the fresh air is wonderful for new thoughts. I was thinking about identity...and when I reached the place I like to go to clear my head, the top of the hill by the old school I lost my phone.

I don't know how it happened, but sitting there leaning against a fence and looking at the sky I realised I lost it. Walking home, I wondered if it was a message to say I should change my identity. But can you change your own Identity? 

Walking home I felt like anyone else felt when they lose their phone, everything you know is contained within that small mobile device and then it's gone. 

I went back out to search for it and when I did find it, I realsied that I wasn't meant to change my identity..I was meant to give myself a second chance in life and stop blaming myself for things happening.

Holiday

Dictionary's definition: a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty, assessment.

In my exemption from any requirement, I have decided to require myself of needs I have forgotten about over time..needs to look after myself, and my body. I want to share my learning with my readers.

Step 1. Excercise
Everyone knows that not only does excercise help you to lose weight and maintain a healthy weight but it also helps to lower blood pressure, calm nerves and ease stress and depression. When we excercise we should think of it as more of a necessity, a luxury..an incentive to happiness rather than a chore that makes us unhappy, red in the face and panting like a dog thats been running for two days straight. Excercise in the way that suits you best, think back to when you were a child and what you loved to do! You know it! So Follow what your body aches to do and go out and get fresh air into your lungs..you'll sleep like an angel.


Step 2. Lose your habits.
Everyone loves the phases of freedom, the phrase 'independant' and most importantly feeling that self achievment once we have done something for ourselves. So, when we think about it in depths our habits are just obsticles in the way of achievment. Excessive partying, Smoking, Internet usage.. Somehow moderation has offered humanity a new way of life which we were convinced was just as healthy as before. Exchanging reading books for reading reviews or summaries online ISN'T the same. Staying healthy..feeling slim.. swapping snacks for cigarettes is definatley NOT the same and very very unhealthy, and partying, drinking...drug usage? Just procrastination of the inevitable. The truth we must face is, that life is waiting for us to grab it and make the most of it while we lay back and use as many obsticles to get in the way of it.

Two days ago I decided to stop smoking altogether. I have smoked for a year and though I have thought about it many times..I am choosing to live my life fully and stop picking the easy ways out. I have spent hours tonight researching about quitting and know I am making the right decision.
Smoking is not a way of life, It's a way of avoiding it.
Support will be appreciated!


3. Open your eyes, To the beauty of life. And the people in it.

Imagine being all alone..forever. Just you. Close your eyes and think about how you would talk to yourself..how you would wish that someday the phone would ring, how excessivley you would write in your diary...
Open your eyes. There are people all around you. People you don't know, but who you might know at some point in your life. Don't procrastinate this! Go and talk to them, find a reason..because you have one life, you sit around and think how do people have so many friends and then find the loud cheery people on the busses annoying. There are people you do know and love, appreciate them! They cheer you up with their phonecalls..so turn the t.v. down and listen to them, balance out your relationships in life..it will be your key to equilibrium. One thing us creative writers do, is write in our journals. Nostalgically, metpahorically, dramatically and emotionally. But when we do not write, we go out and find reason to write..stories to reminisce about and we are allowed to reflect. But we enjoy life much more, when thoughts don't cross our minds as often and we can feel free. So enjoy this freedom.

Zara
x

Reflecting

Reflection is not always what you see in a mirror.

Ever thought of how other people see you?Or do you, like me, always think of yourself in the way that you want to be?

We are not just one person, we are relatives, girlfriends/boyfriends and most of all we are friends.

For we find friendship in each, as we grow older our parents become like elder friends as the level between us balances. As for the rest, however when goals become difficult to achieve and when we lose sight of hope, we become selfish.

Did we sign a contract at university to balance out these relationships..or are we all guilty of focusing on just one? When we do do just that, everything then seems to fall apart at the seams..just when our friends have warned us. After spending many nights with my boyfriend for the past two weeks I realised how little I have concentrated on being a friend. My friends don't seem to know what is going on in my life, and it is ironic as i always preached that univeristy should be the pinnacle of new friendship. From it I learned, as we students do...to dedicate ourselves in every manner to anyone and everyone that loves us back. Time is precious and unsteady...for when this blog is finished it is almost the end of an era. We all travel back home this weekend..and on them journeys will we reflect on the relationships we have made all by oursleves? Will we override the sound of bustling crowds on the train with the moments we have treausred. Time has escaped us, yet again and soon we welcome in a new year.

Summer awaits us.

Zara x